For the One Who Wonders If They Are Enough

I think I've spent a lot of my life wanting someone to love me the way I loved others.

I wanted to matter to someone the way other people mattered to me. I wanted to know that someone saw me, appreciated me, and loved me with the same kind of love I was so willing to give away.

And somewhere along the way, I began wondering whether I was enough.

Was I doing enough? Was I loving enough? Was there something about me that made it difficult for someone to love me the way I wanted to be loved?

I think I spent a lot of time searching for an answer to those questions without realizing that I was asking them in the wrong place.

Because I was striving for a love that had already been given to me.

I was striving to be known when I was already fully known and deeply loved by the One who knew me best.

People came and went throughout my life, and eventually I began realizing that no matter how much I loved someone, I couldn't make them stay.

But there was one constant I had always known.

Jesus.

Even as a little girl, during some of the most traumatic moments of my childhood, I felt Him with me. I don't know if that was something my mom had instilled in me or if it was simply the way I had come to know Him, but I knew He was my friend.

And He never left.

For most of my life, I think I saw that as something Jesus just did. He loved people. He was faithful. He was always there.

I read my Bible, memorized Scripture, and tried to live the way Jesus taught us to live. But I hadn't really stopped to think about what it meant to have a relationship with Him.

Because a relationship involves two people.

I came to realize that Jesus wanted a relationship with me. But it still took me years to understand that I needed to desire that relationship with Him, too—not just through the things I did, but through the time I chose to spend with Him.

And when I began sitting with Him, not because I had something I needed to accomplish or because it was something I was supposed to do, but simply because I wanted to be with Him, I began discovering something I'd been searching for my whole life.

True love.

And I was almost 50 years old.

I had spent so many years wanting someone to love me the way I loved others. I wanted to matter to someone the way they mattered to me.

But I was striving for a love that had already been given to me.

I was striving to be known when I was already fully known and deeply loved by the One who knew me best.

And it made me wonder how long I'd been standing in the presence of the very love I'd been searching for, without ever stopping long enough to really know it.

If you've ever wondered whether you're enough, whether you matter to someone, or whether you'll ever experience the kind of love you've been longing for, I want to invite you to spend a little time with the One who already knows you.

You don't have to come with the right words, a list of prayers, or an understanding of everything you've read in Scripture. Just find a quiet place where you can spend a few minutes with Him.

And I want to encourage you to begin with praise.

Before you ask Him for anything, take a moment to tell Him who He is to you. Thank Him for His faithfulness, His goodness, and the ways He's been present in your life, even during the seasons when you didn't fully recognize what that meant.

You might begin by simply saying, “Lord, thank You for loving me. Thank You for wanting to know me and for inviting me to know You.”

And then spend a little time with Him. Open His Word if you'd like, talk to Him about what's on your heart, and allow yourself a few quiet moments to listen.

You don't have to accomplish anything during this time. You're not trying to earn His love or prove that you're worthy of His attention.

You're simply spending time with Someone who loves you.

And maybe, as you begin making room for that relationship, you'll discover something I wish I'd understood a little sooner.

You don't have to become someone different to be worthy of love. You don't have to spend your life trying to prove that you matter or searching for someone who will finally recognize your worth.

Because before the world ever told you who you should be, God already knew who you were.

YOU are worth knowing, and He has known it all along.